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“Only one person in a thousand knows the trick of really living in the present.

Most of us spend fifty-nine minutes an hour living in the past, with regret for lost joys or shame for things badly done… or in a future which we either long for or dread. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute, here and now.”
-Storm Jameson

Where is your attention right now? Are you awake and aware of your surroundings?

I hope this reminder brings you squarely into the present. Although it is good to remember favorite events from our past and to be excited about what might happen for us in the future, real joy comes in the journey.

There is a wonderful quote of Thomas J. Leonard that goes, “Make the present incredibly wonderful, and the future will take care of itself.”

Our daily lives offer many opportunities for peak experiences, moments when we are feeling our happiest and strongest. This idea is explored thoroughly in “Flow: the Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. In it, the author defines flow and offers examples of people achieving flow. Contrary to popular belief, that optimal feeling does not happen when we are at leisure (perhaps reminiscing about the past or dreaming of the future). It is most likely in the midst of intense effort either at work or play.

When can you appreciate these moments?

• You take a smart risk
• You learn something new
• You are engaged in stimulating discussion
• You make a discovery
• You begin to understand
• You put something together mentally or physically
• In some way, you go farther or faster

When we are in the moment, time stands still for us. We appreciate what is around us and whatever is happening to add to our happiness. We feel in control of our actions, and there is a deep sense of exhilaration and enjoyment.

Wow! That sounds great! How can I have that?

Pay attention. Take time during every day to notice what you appreciate. As you reach your goals or the milestones toward them, congratulate yourself and let the satisfied feeling sink in. Don’t travel to your desired destination wearing blinders! Admire the scenery that your daily experiences offer you, whether that scenery is physical or a mental image and feeling. When you are faced with a challenge, think of how you can learn and become stronger by facing it squarely.

Savoring the moment is the most pleasant feeling!

“Some people are making such thorough preparation for
rainy days that they aren’t enjoying today’s sunshine.”
- William Feather

Remember the movie, “Field of Dreams”? The movie’s mantra was, “If you build it, they will come.” Along those same lines, in a persuasive presentation, if you SOLVE their problem, they will BUY. Let me explain.

Many of you have heard and read my “bespeakism” turn your focus 180°; imploring you to put yourself in the audience’s seat. Once you’re there, ask yourself, what’s bothering them? What’s keeping them up at night? What’s a PROBLEM they have that your product or service can SOLVE? Once you figure that out, you’re ready to begin building a presentation that will truly persuade them.

Begin by illustrating for them what their “Picture” looks like; where they currently are. Include in that picture, a crystal clear view of their problem. Now ears have perked up; heads are nodding. They’re listening because you’ve shown them that you “get” them. More important, you’ve just brought out in the open the thing that’s keeping them up at night! “Yes!” they’re thinking, “That’s exactly where I am! If only someone could help me with this problem.”

Enter YOU and your proposal for solving this problem. (By the way, this kind of intro works just as effectively for informative presentations; you have to give the audience a compelling reason to listen and learn − illuminating a problem they’re facing that your information will help them solve is the best way to capture their interest.) For those of you in the selling business (and who isn’t?) this is when you tell them in PLAIN English (think smart savvy 11 year old), using BIG BOLD BRAVE words what your solution is.

Next, you illustrate the payoff; the BENEFITS to them of adopting your proposal. These are NOT bells and whistles, doo dads and super duper gadgets. These are the what’s and how’s their lives will be better, easier, safer, richer, more carefree, etc. once they begin using your product or service. The better you know your audience and understand their problem and how you solve it, the more easily and compellingly you can communicate this to them.

Now you have to use your knowledge of them to bullet proof your idea. This requires you taking the time thinking as though you are they and asking, “What will their objections be? What will they still be doubtful about? What may I need to disabuse them of?” Bringing these things out into the light and knocking them down one by one will seal the deal. You will have addressed their doubts before they’ve had a chance to voice them.

Next you paraphrase what you’ve said thus far. Briefly recap their problem, your proposed solution, the payoffs to them of adopting it and the proof they need to dispel any misconceptions or doubts that your solution will work. One piece left; the prompt.

This is CRITICAL and yet many many persuasive presentations are missing this important element. Tell them what they’re NEXT STEP is! Don’t be afraid of being “pushy”. You’ve just illustrated very clearly and compellingly to them WHAT their problem is and HOW you can solve it, as well as telling them the GREAT things they’ll enjoy by adopting your solution. You’ve even illustrated possible objections and debunked them. At this point they’re DYING for you to tell them where they sign, what line they get in, who the check’s to be made out to, etc. You’re their problem solver! The answer to their prayers! Don’t stop after you’ve told them how you can solve their problem; tell them the steps they can take to get started.

Before your next presentation, sit down and ask yourself, “What is my audience’s problem? How does my product or service solve it? What is the result of that solution? Then follow the structure I’ve described above

(also known as the bespeak presentation method) and you’ll be giving persuasive presentations that assure that you’ll be heard and get results. And who wants to give any other kind?

When it comes to negotiation the negotiation teams are busy strategically planning and working on each other’s moves almost like a giant chess game. Still, if the negotiation and agreement is supposed to work long-term, there must be something on the table for both parties. Negotiations have to be a little bit of “win-win” because if they are too much one-sided and too much “win-lose” in the end everyone loses because the deal falls through, or the objectives are not met causing problems for both sides.

The difference between negotiation and chess is that in chess there are specific rules, and it’s easier to predict your opponent. In negotiation although there are unspoken rules, almost anything goes. This is why creativity in negotiation matters very much, and the team with it has a huge advantage as they can come up with innovative ways to solve problems, and help the other party get what they want, so their team can get what it wants.

The more creative the negotiators, and the more agile they are, the more opportunities they have. This clearly gives them the advantage by far. All too often, people go to school to learn negotiation, and some of the top negotiators in the world have often gone to the same school interestingly enough. In top business level negotiations many of the parties involved either went to Harvard or to Yale. They are working out of the same playbook.

So, if you have someone on your team that is highly creative and did not attend Harvard or Yale then your team has the advantage, do you see that point? I hope you will please consider all this because it has come to me at a very high price, through my many years of negotiation. It was a learning process for me, and much of it I learned the hard way. So please think on it.